FREE WILL

"God controls my life!"   My father shouted at my grand mother.  Dad had a history of guilt and shame; not because he did not try, but he was turning to God and resented how his parents had seemed to always know the right doctrine.

It was a heated discussion and my grand father just did not say a word but I could see he was troubled and turned away knowing that his input would only make the heat grow hotter.

I was nine years old and confused about 'free will' and God's 'control' of everything.  They were looked like two forces in the universe struggling to see who would win.  Wasn't God stronger than man?  How could man be held responsible for his destiny?  Free will, that was the question.

I thought about this a lot and didn't understand that when God created man He imparted to man the very essence of Himself....to be free and to choose what He wanted.  Now that is some responsibly for us to have placed upon each one of us; to have to decide what is right or wrong each step we take in our short journey in this present life.

Jesus was both man and divine and clothed Himself with the same flesh that we all share.  Although the Scriptures predicted almost everything that would happen to Him, yet He had to decide every move He made all through His short life.  It may be difficult to understand this, but God does not automatically forgive and forget our sins; He also has free will and every time we come to Him and ask Him for forgiveness, He must decide all over again whether or not to forgive us.

It seems to me that there is scripture to support both views; God did harden the heart of a Pharaoh and also the Bible teaches that we are predestinated in many ways.  I can not decide who will be my mother or my father; in which year I was born, and I do carry genes and inherit many of my parent's personalities.  On the other hand, I can decide to not become like my father when he did some things that I didn't think was good back then, or I can decide to emulate what I admired about him.

I think we are influenced by where we were born, what nation we were born and all the customs and traditions which surround us when we are children.  If we are exposed to many different customs and traditions, then we are able to see how others are influenced by their own customs and cultures, and then we are able to be more aware of our own behavior as we grow into adult hood. 

As a Christian, I believe I ought to believe that God is control of everything, and then pray as though I have influence over what ever I am praying for; does God answer prayer?  He may answer yes or no, or maybe I have to wait for my answer.

There are many mysteries in life and this is one of them.  There are more questions then there are answers.  It is wise to have an open mind and learn and share what we learn with others.  Perfection is not a goal of my life, it is being able to live day by day and learn how to be kind to others, respectful of their opinions and to leave this life having given more than I have taken.